Learning a New Internal Rhythm: You Deserve Calm

What happens when your inner world starts to feel… different?

In this episode, we explore the quiet fear many people carry when considering medication—especially those who feel deeply, think deeply, or experience a strong inner or intuitive world. The question often isn’t just will this help me? but will I lose something in the process?

Through a nervous system and trauma-informed lens, we talk about what shifts in the brain with medications like Strattera, why intensity can feel familiar, and how calm can sometimes feel unfamiliar at first.

This is a conversation about the difference between numbing and regulation, about ADHD and emotional intensity, and about what it means to adjust to a new internal rhythm without losing yourself in the process.

Because sometimes, when the noise settles, you’re not disconnected—
 you’re finally able to hear yourself more clearly.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Hello, friends, welcome back. It's so nice to be back here, and I really hope that your week went well. So there's a question that comes up a lot. Sometimes people say it out loud. Sometimes it's kinda there in the background, right? Behind the scenes. If I start a medication, am I going to lose something? And I'm talking more about, you know, medications that help the nervous system calm, or, you know, medications for ADHD, medications for for depression, anxiety, so on and so forth, right? So if I start a medication, am I going to lose something? Not just side effects, not just physical changes, but something much deeper. My intuition, my connection, my sense of who I am. This fear doesn't get talked about enough because it doesn't always sound clinical. It doesn't always fit neatly into that diagnostic language that we all so much love, right? But it's real. Especially for people who feel so deeply, who are intuitive, who experience the world in a layered, meaningful way, who are connected to maybe the spirit world, right? Or who allow themselves to be connected to that. There's also a belief that exists in some spaces that medication can block connection, that it doles your awareness, that it closes you off, that it interferes with your ability to receive insight or feel connected to something beyond yourself. And I wanted to approach this very carefully and with a lot of honesty and a lot of thought. Because while I understand where that fear comes from, I don't fully agree with it. So maybe let's just try to ground this in what's actually happening in the body. Medications like Stratera, they work on neurotransmitters, specifically norepinephrine, which means they can reduce mental noise, support focus, create more regulation in the nervous system. And when the nervous system shifts, your experience shifts. And then things can possibly get confusing. For many people, connection, intuition, insight, even spirituality has been experienced through heightened states. States where there is intensity, emotional openness, a sense of being very on or very activated, right? So it gives you this intense experience. So when medication reduces that intensity, it can feel like something might be missing. But there's something to notice that is a very important distinction here. Less intensity is not the same as less connection. Less intensity is not the same as less connection. Sometimes it's just less overwhelm. So from a nervous system perspective, when you're highly activated, you may feel more, but you may also have less clarity, feel urgency instead of grounded knowing, struggle to separate emotion from insight. When the system becomes more regulated, things don't disappear, they organize. So instead of everything feels big and immediate, it can be I can respond to what's in front of me. And that shift can feel unfamiliar, even uncomfortable. Because for some people, intensity has been the reference point for meaning, importance, connection. So when things get quieter, the question becomes: is this calm or am I disconnected? So this is where discernment actually matters. Because here's the thing: there is a difference between regulation and emotional blunting. And here's my here's how you can maybe tell the difference between those. When medication is supporting you, you might notice you still feel emotions, but they don't overwhelm you. You have more choice in how you respond. Your thoughts feel clearer or less chaotic. You can stay present without escalating internally. You move through moments without carrying them for hours. When something isn't the right fit, it might feel like a sense of flatness or numbness, disconnection from yourself or what matters to you, difficulty accessing emotion at all, or maybe like a loss of engagement with your life. It doesn't seem like a fun life to me, right? So they're not the same experience. And I guess that's where I want to gently challenge the idea that connection requires intensity. What if connection, whether you define that as an as intuition, inner knowing, or something spiritual, doesn't actually depend on being a heightened state? What if it's available in a regulated one? What if instead of needing to be wide open, you could be grounded, present, clear, and still connected? Because when the nervous system is more stable, what often shows up is not less awareness, but more discernment. Less everything feels super important. Everything feels like it has to be done now, right? The pressure. More of this is what matters right now, and that's okay. And honestly, that kind of clarity is kind of it's more silent, it's more, it's more quiet. It's not like a loud screaming noise in your head, right? It doesn't demand attention in the same way. It doesn't come with the same emotional charge, but it's still there. If you're someone who's been hesitant about medication because of this fear, I want you to hear this. You don't have to choose between taking care of your mental health and staying connected to yourself. You deserve both. You deserve connection and stability, openness and grounding, clarity without overwhelm. And if something you try doesn't feel right, you're allowed to listen to that too. It's not about forcing a fit. It's about finding what supports you without taking away from yourself. So if things in your world feel maybe a little bit quieter, pause before assuming that something is wrong. Instead, maybe ask, am I disconnected or am I just not overwhelmed? Because sometimes when the noise settles, you're not losing connection. You're finally able to hear yourself clearer. So I guess I want to slow it down for a moment and look at something else underneath all of this, right? Because for many people, this isn't just about medication. It's about what your body has known for a very, very long time. So from trauma-informed lens, intensity doesn't just show up randomly. The nervous system is shaped early through experience, environment, attachment, and repeated patterns, right? I've talked about this many times on this show, on this show, on this podcast. Here I'm thinking I'm on a show now. If you grew up in unpredictability, emotional intensity, high expectations, or environments where your system had to stay alert, your body may have learned this is what normal feels like. You know, this is how our bodies work. It takes what is, and then it just kind of kind of goes with that, I guess for lack of better words. And the nervous system just adapts accordingly to that, right? Instead of settling easily into those calm states, it can become more familiar with activation, fight or flight, urgency, heightened emotional response. I think, you know, for a lot of us, I have to say, like the hurry up thing is very triggering because, and we do it to our own kids too, right? But but the hurry up, like hurry up, hurry up, we gotta go, we gotta go, we gotta go, right? The pressing feeling, it's pretty overwhelming for a child, but it sticks with you. I don't know about you, but the other day my daughter was was rushing me. Actually, it's it's kind of an everyday thing, honestly. I have to remind her that I don't do well under like when I'm being pressured to move faster. I actually I actually start getting anxious, right? And she was just like, come on, mommy, hurry up, hurry up, we gotta get to school early, we gotta get there early. That's her own anxiety speaking, you know, but it kind of triggers my anxiety as well, right? You know? And that's just that's just from my own experiences throughout life. And, you know, chances are that I instilled that in her, you know. So until she started doing that to me, I didn't realize how how bad that was. So I stopped doing it to her, and and I've been very careful with my words since. And I'm trying to teach her that it's not a helpful way, even if I if I probably taught it to her, right? So what this is really is adaptation, you know, that heightened emotional response and the urgency and activation is just adaptation. From neurobiology standpoint, the brain is constantly learning through repetition. So the amygdala, your threat detection system, and stress response pathways become more efficient the more they're used. At the same time, the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for decision making, right? Impulse control and regulation, can have a harder time staying online when the system feels very overwhelmed. So over time, your baseline, it can shift towards faster reactivity, stronger emotional surges, a sense that things are bigger and more urgent than they actually are. And here's what usually isn't spoken out loud. We tend to feel drawn back to what is familiar, even if it is intense. It's not because we want to suffer, right? But it's because the body recognizes it. So when something like medication or even therapy introduces a different internal state, something calmer, more regulated, it can feel unfamiliar, and unfamiliar can feel maybe wrong, right? It can also feel very scary because this is unfamiliar territory. We don't like the unknown. As much as people say that, oh, I love change, I love change. I think most people love change within, you know, within that controlled environment, right? If I choose change, then I love it. If I don't, then I then I don't love it. Or if all of a sudden things are showing up that are unexpected, maybe that's different. So even in in therapy sessions, I I have to address a lot of times, this is not maybe what you thought it would be. Like you're not just gonna walk out of here like rainbows and butterflies. You know, this is intense work and it changes your nervous system, and that can create a lot of ripple effects throughout your body, also in your own personal life, right? It's to me, it's worth it, you know, but I I let I let my clients decide that for themselves. Is this gonna be worth it for me? Right. So this is where people sometimes say, I don't feel like myself. But what if the question isn't, is this me? What if the question is, is this new? Because new can feel disorienting at first, especially if your system has been calibrated to intensity. So now let's layer in the ADHD because this is super important too. In ADHD, there are differences in how the brain regulates attention, motivation, and emotion, largely involving neurotransmitters like dopamine and norepinephrine. These systems impact the focus, impulse control, and emotional regulation of a human. People with ADHD often experience things like faster emotional escalation, difficulty shifting attention away from distress, a stronger pull toward stimulation or intensity. Not because they're choosing it, but because the brain is wired to seek enough stimulation to stay engaged. So medications such as Stratera that I mentioned earlier work by increasing norepinephrine availability in the brain, particularly in areas like the prefrontal cortex. And that can support sustained attention, impulse control, emotional regulation, which means that instead of emotions disappearing, there's more capacity to stay with them without being overtaken by them. So I guess if you're noticing things that feel calmer, less urgent, more contained, it's not that your brain is actually shutting down, it's gaining support. And this might feel foreign. If part of you misses the intensity, that doesn't mean that something is actually wrong. It means that your body is recognizing what it has known. So from a more subtle spiritual perspective, some people describe connection as something that comes through openness, sensitivity, or heightened awareness. And, you know, there can be truth in that, but openness doesn't have to mean overwhelm. Sensitivity doesn't have to mean dysregulation. There's also kind of connection that comes through, like presence, grounding, quiet awareness. That's less forceful, right? It's less loud. But it's often more sustainable. It doesn't activate your nervous system. So if your internal world is shifting, you don't have to rush to define it. You don't have to decide right away if you trust it. You can let your body learn this new state slowly. You can change the course too once you've experienced this enough and you're like, I feel like this is dissociation versus actual connection or actual lack of overwhelm, right? You can change that course as well. Of course, I say all these things, but please speak to your providers about this as well. I am not a psychiatrist and I do not prescribe medication. So this is just on what I have learned over the years, you know, about this specific subject, all right? So if you ever feel afraid, or if you've ever felt afraid, that the feeling that feeling might or that feeling better might cost you something. I just want to say this. You are not meant to suffer in order to stay connected. You are not meant to suffer in order to stay connected. You are not required to live in intensity to access meaning, intuition, or depth. If your system has known intensity for a long time, of course, calm will feel unfamiliar. Of course, part of you will question it. Of course, there will maybe a pull to go back to what feels known. That doesn't mean that you're losing yourself. It means you're expanding your range. You're learning that you can feel without being overwhelmed, you can respond without carrying everything. You can be open without losing your center. And friends, whatever you believe about connection, whether it's intuition, inner knowing, or something more spiritual, nothing that is truly meant for you requires you to be unwell to access it. Nothing that is truly meant for you requires you to be unwell to access it. So if things are getting quieter, you don't have to interpret that as absence necessarily. It might be space, it might be clarity, it might be your system finally finding a place where you can exist and stay connected to yourself at the same time. And you don't have to force yourself to like it right away. You can get to know it at your own pace. All right, everyone. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for coming back. I really appreciate you. And I really, really hope that this week is a wonderful week for you, sending you all my love and positive light and energy. Have a wonderful week. Bye.